I have two kiddos- my daughter just turned three and my son just turned one.

This year, I auditioned in Honolulu, San Diego, Dallas, Tucson, Redlands, and Santa Cruz, and submitted a couple of recorded auditions.

Am I at a disadvantage auditioning with kids? Definitely a time disadvantage, since we don’t have help with child care. Robert and I trade off working, practicing, and watching the kids.

While I was in college, I thought life would happen like this:

1. Finish school.
2. Get married.
3. Get a job.
4. Have kids.

After my first year of auditioning (Houston, Kanazawa, Sioux Falls, Midland-Odessa, and Augusta), I got the sense that if I waited to have kids until after I got a orchestral job, I might be waiting a very long time.

Here are my thoughts on auditioning with babies:

1. Keep something cooking.

When you’re a parent, adding a stressful event (audition) to your life seems like a terrible idea. Yet, the orchestral musician/audition route requires a lot of self-motivation, and for me, having a “thing” coming up is the best way to stay focused. I try to always have an audition coming up. Maybe that’s a bit extreme, but it gives me something to work toward. It’s like dangling a carrot in front of a horse.

Also, having an audition on the horizon eases rejection. It’s easier to tell myself, “No biggie, I have another chance soon.”

2. Get out to practice.

If you can, leave the house to practice. It does unfortunately compartmentalize your practice sessions, but realistically, your kids are going to interrupt you. Again and again. You’ll never be able to have the sustained focus required to really dig into the music, because someone always needs a new diaper or a snack or is making some kind of mess.

3. Be clear about money.

Budget. Be clear about how much you make and spend. This will determine how much you can spend on auditions, lessons, and all the other associated expenses. For most of us, auditioning is a years-long process. Spending money you don’t have over time can really add up and stress you out. I withdrew from the New Orleans principal flute audition this year because it was a long shot, and the trip was too expensive.

4. Embrace your life as it is.

It’s easy to think, I wouldn’t have messed up if I’d had more hours to practice this thing or that thing. But the reality is with less time, you become more efficient. I don’t procrastinate practicing the excerpts I don’t want to (FIREBIRD) nearly as much, because I know that will result in me being unprepared. I am always looking for a simple and reliable solution to musical problems.

Kids can be extremely frustrating and challenging, especially when combined with the pressure of an audition. But on the other hand, it is so refreshing after an audition to come home to my kids who don’t give a sh*t that I cracked a note or ten. It keeps things in perspective for me.

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Raising kids while taking auditions is probably not the fastest or most direct route to an orchestral job. However, it changes your perspective on life and forces you to become a more mature and compassionate being. When you have birthed a baby (or two) and are responsible for a life, playing the flute for some people you don’t know seems like a relatively small feat.

July 2019