…far from it.
This was the first time I’ve showed up to an audition with the completely wrong list prepared.
Obviously, the exact circumstances were different, but it made me imagine what Maria João Pires might have experienced when she sat down to perform a Mozart concerto, but had prepared the wrong one.
In my case, when they posted the 1st round list, there was an initial moment of disorientation and confusion, followed by comprehension, then a sinking feeling. I had prepared only one of the excerpts asked in the 1st round, and I didn’t have the music for most of the others with me.
The 1st round excerpts were the following:
-Vivaldi 1st half
-Berlioz Presto e leggiero
-Shostakovich (both)
-Semiramide
-Brahms 4
I told the audition coordinator I had prepared a different list, and after consulting with the committee, they selected excerpts from those I had prepared.
Here’s what I was asked to play:
It seems that I downloaded the audition list from their website before they updated it. My list said “flute,” whereas the correct list said “3rd flute/piccolo.” The list I prepared had Fl 1, Fl 2, and picc excerpts, which is what I expected from a 3rd flute/picc list. There was no mention of the list having been updated between the time of my application and the audition, so it never occurred to me to check on it.
Other mishaps…
I have been to an audition where I prepared a wrong excerpt- notably, the wrong piccolo part on Bolero. That one can be ambiguous- the 1st picc is on the 2nd flute part- but at least those two parts are very similar. I have seen both parts on audition lists. If it’s unclear at all, it’s best to ask for clarification!
I have also been to an out of town audition where my car had a major breakdown on the way to the hall… that was an adventure. Since I had left very early, I still managed to get to the audition on time after getting towed to a car shop and taking an Uber to the hall.
How it went
There were good aspects about my audition, but overall, I don’t think I played that well. I guess I couldn’t shake the feeling of having arrived to the party in the wrong outfit.
I tried to not be too flustered by the situation, but it was definitely upsetting. I also felt that the excerpts I was playing didn’t demonstrate my ability as well as the excerpts on the list- but I wasn’t prepared to play those.
Maybe I should have taken control of the situation more and asked to play Vivaldi- I probably could have managed that, and it would have been a better way to start the audition.
In any case, I didn’t advance, and I wasn’t surprised. When I listened to my audition, I wouldn’t have chosen myself either. There were too many inconsistencies in the sound, and moments of rushing.
Thoughts
While I am (reasonably) confident in my abilities as a musician and performer, I somehow seem unable to demonstrate this very well in an audition.
Or, perhaps I don’t care enough about polishing excerpts. I like developing my overall technique- improving my fundamentals. I enjoy studying the pieces as a whole, looking at scores, and picking through piano arrangements to learn harmony.
But maybe I have less patience for the repetition required for audition consistency, and which I generally find tedious, particularly on excerpts.
When I first started taking auditions in 2014, I thought I wasn’t advancing because I was lacking some skill or musical understanding. Which was probably true.
Now that I’ve played in several professional groups, and listened to many more, I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel that if I was put in the group, I would hold my own- I would perform well and be equally or better prepared than my colleagues. I believe this because I have experienced it, multiple times.
That brings me to the conclusion that I may not be very good at some aspect of auditions themselves. I don’t have a solution, nor do I think one necessarily even exists. It is just something for me to think about going forward.
This was definitely a tough performance situation, though. I’m oscillating between feeling disappointed in myself (for not performing better), and being angry about the circumstances. In the end, I guess it’s just another experience to add to my body of work.
Alyse Hokamp 